As I enter my first blog ever, on my first ever website, I wonder where this will all take me. But I know for certain that this quest is worthwhile.
For one, as a child there were things I was unaware of as being "abnormal"- there were ways I believed that for a child at that age showed more chutzpah than I realized. I always knew what I would be. I never doubted for one minute, until real life occurred and doubters and naysayers- well, no, really that was only me that swayed my opinion any. But now I'm back. I was lost for a long while. I was 5 when I did my first commercial. I remember it was so easy. I had no fear of the cameras, I directed people on set to be quiet, I had a place and it was mine. I didn't know at the time that it was my destiny. But when I was 9 and performed in front of a 500 seat theatre in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, again, I had no fear. I wasn't nervous. I was excited. I loved every minute of it. When I was 10, I decided I wanted to marry Michael J. Fox. I didn't like him so much in "Family Ties", but man he won my heart in "Back to the Future". I was smitten. And I knew if I wanted to marry him, I should become an actress- I liked it anyway. I was nervous though- after all, MJF was only 5'4", and my brother and sister were already both very tall. What would I do as a wife that was twice his size? Well, I didn't need to worry, because after growing three inches before 6th grade and towering over everyone, I stopped, and by 8th grade I was a runt. I grew again, but not much, and MJF got married anyway. By that time, my choice of career was settled. I auditioned and entered a performing arts high school (Pebblebrook-Cobb County Center for Excellence in the Performing Arts, or CCCEPA- you should check them out). This school was then, and is more so now, a breeding ground for talent. When a counselor told my mother I simply had stars in my eyes and should rather look at a real career, however, my mother firmly said, "And what's wrong with having stars in your eyes?" I didn't know then how important a mother's support really was. I've met many since who weren't so lucky. So that's why I say it was my own naysaying that took me far away from acting. My first audition in college went badly. Very, very badly. I didn't know the script, I was a freshman, and I had never been so nervous at an audition. Besides, I was used to having lead roles- Juliet at the age of 14, Olivia from Twelfth Night at the age of 17, Bessie from Marvin's Room, and pretty much anything else we had going on. The defeat took me far away. So when I had a bad breakup and ended up in Tae Kwon Do, I knew I couldn't do both at night, so I chose Tae Kwon Do. I don't regret it. I learned a lot. I became a different person, one who knew how to stand tall no matter what, one with a strong voice of confidence that hadn't been there before, and one who knew my life of acting was done. Well, that last statement lasted for over 10 more years. I cultivated a private school, a family, a home. I cultivated a different life than I'd ever set out for. And then we moved- away from family, away from the school, away from reality. The reality that had become my life. Before moving I'd started reconnecting with my performing arts friends, and if I hadn't met my friend Elise for coffee, who knows where I'd be now? I knew we were all meeting again for a reason. And I started bringing people together. That's what I do- I organize. When I say I want to do something, I do it. Come Hell or high water- it will get done. So we had a performing arts reunion. Ten years of graduates- actors, dancers, singers- well, mostly actors showed up, go figure. But it was being with these people that had inspired me so long ago that I felt alive again. I knew I'd been living a lie in regard to who I really was, or at least that the one part of me that I was born with I had pushed so far away that I'd forgotten about her. I had to be an actress. And now. But how? I returned home and started trying to realize how I would juggle three small children, a job from home, a husband who travels and works odd hours- and ultimately live out my dream. I couldn't wait- no- I had made this decision, and so everything started falling in place. I met a woman who became my photographer and one of my best friends. Paulette Junge (www.feelprettyfotos.com) is an amazing photographer and friend, and within a month of my decision, I met her, had headshots done, went for a couple auditions, and I landed my first role as Violet Peterson in It's a Wonderful Life. And my two daughters got roles too! How convenient. And so it began. I haven't stopped since. That was in 2009. Since then, my acting career has taken a different road, and I am now acting primarily in film and TV, creating my own projects along the way. Acting is a way of life and it is not going to be pushed away again. I know now what I want, and I am on a mission. Something is brewing, and I like it.
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AuthorThere is a time and place for everything, and now is the time, I just have to make the place. Archives
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